How's Your Fiscal Year Going? Yeah, Mine Too
Three Prose Poems by Brad Rose
Lost My Hat
How’s your fiscal year going? Yeah, mine too. At least since I purchased all those little plastic houses. I love being a landlord. Especially since the big influx of monopoly-money rent. Like they say, life’s no game. You’ve got to stay on your toes. Of course, I wasn’t always this lucky. Once, I fell into a crater. It was rocky all the way down, but who would have ever guessed about all that bubbling lava? Magma, like a broken compass, swirls in every direction, which is the reason I much prefer the airconditioned planets, you know, like the ones with the all-you-can-eat giblet buffets and the dancing-insect Viking floor shows. Those Praying Mantis really enjoy their BBQ piranha shish kabobs, don’t they? I take my hat off to them. Wait. I know it’s around here somewhere.
Captive Trees
How many things can you think of at once? Over the years I’ve found that I’m an extremely good listener. Nothing is more useful than the voices in my head. From here, it’s easy to see that the dangerous light is painting the night an absent color. Thank goodness it’s only raining on the smaller islands. Don’t worry about the dark trees. In this weather, they’re not going anywhere.
Took Me by Surprise
I’m asynchronous, so this is one of those fun moments when everything is happening at once. It’s not like at the Kung-Fu academy, where I spent my summer trying to pick on someone my own size, but when no one measured up, I had to abandon my plans for spontaneity and begin impersonating the robots who’d devoted their summer to impersonating people. What the heck is animal husbandry, anyway? I hear once you get started, it’s almost impossible to stop—like rabbits. Obviously, it’s never too soon to study UFO etiquette, although you’ve got to learn to be patient—you know, take it slow—because the learning curve is out of this world. Talk about steep. Fortunately, I’m attractive to all members of the opposing sexes. Some people can’t tell the difference between millipedes and centipedes, but I’m mathematically gifted, which makes me the perfect candidate for extraterrestrial speed dating. When I called my physician, Dr. Frightwig, to report a sudden onset of strange repetitive behavior and a few missing body parts, he said I’d better slow down and appreciate each and every day as if it were my last. I informed him that cheese is my favorite color, and he said, What a coincidence! Mine too, Blitz Droid. I must say, that really took me by surprise.
Brad Rose was born and raised in Los Angeles and lives in Boston. He is the author of five collections of poetry and flash fiction: Lucky Animals, No. Wait. I Can Explain., Pink X-Ray, de/tonations,and Momentary Turbulence. WordInEdgeWise is forthcoming in later 2024. His website is www.bradrosepoetry.com
Art: Dawn Marie Arsenaux